By: Matilda Shreves May 2, 2017
The body of a man was found early this morning on the patio deck of the local Eastside Denton tavern. Police have yet to release a name, but the corpse is believed to belong to a man still waiting on his girlfriend to come back from the bathroom.
“At first, we didn’t think much of it.” said owner John Williams. “Dudes sometimes have to wait a long time for girls to come back from the bathroom. Especially if there’s make-up involved, plus they bump into friends and end up getting shots. I’ve even heard of girls pooping sometimes and that can take a while if they just ate something from one of these food trucks. This guy must have just started waiting and died from exposure.”
A memorial fund is being raised to cover the body’s outstanding bar tab.